Relationship Storms

Then Jesus got into the boat and started across the lake with his disciples. Suddenly, a fierce storm struck the lake, with waves breaking into the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him up, shouting, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” Jesus responded, “Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!” Then he got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm. The disciples were amazed. “Who is this man?” they asked. “Even the winds and waves obey him!”

Matthew 8:23‭-‬27 NLT

Have you ever been like the disciples? I’ve been like them recently. I think most of us are like this at least once in our lives.

Relationships are hard. Marriage is hard. I married a man who is a good person. But even then, the storms will come. What do you do when you are married, and it’s just hard? Especially when you believe in Jesus? Do you just leave? Do you just stay even though no one is happy? What is the right thing to do? Jesus did say that God hates divorce, didn’t he? But, he also loves us more than anything, so he wouldn’t want us to suffer, would he?

In all things in this life, storms pop up. In all relationships, there comes a time when it’s kinda blah. The pink cloud bursts, and things aren’t the same. Maybe the love feeling has faded. Perhaps you’re arguing. It can be so many things, can’t it?

We weren’t getting along for a few weeks around here. It was difficult; neither of us was sure what to do. When I thought about what I wanted life to look like, how I wanted to feel inside and compared those to the track I was on, I wanted to quit. I wanted to adjust my life so that it could be the way I wanted it to be. I felt it was the right thing to do. I decided. 

Then, I remembered. We promised God we’d stay together. Even in the hard stuff. Even when we didn’t want to. Even when we were mad, sick, poor, all of it. We promised. I also remembered that God doesn’t like divorce. So, where did that leave me?

Prayer. I prayed a lot. I read my bible. I read devotions on marriage – on the hard stuff. God met me in my mess. Even though I was being self-centered, God answered my prayers. Even though I was grumpy and crabby, God answered my prayers. Even though I was a mess, God showed up in the middle of it all. 

One devotion told me that I can pray for God to let me know his presence if I’m doubting. He did. Another devotion walked me through praying for unity in purpose. Another devotion helped me focus on the hard stuff about marriage. It all gave me little nuggets of wisdom. With each nugget, I adjusted my mindset just a little. I put my guard down a  little more. I softened my heart just a little. 

Sometimes just a little is enough. The biggest thing that I learned is to shift my focus + we are a group of three, not two. First, shifting my focus away from faults, imperfections, and wrongs and focusing on the love, forgiveness, and mutual flaws, short circuit the blame game. Also, I remembered that two have become one, and we walk with God so that we’re never alone. Focusing on all that God is, that Jesus has brought me peace already, means that I can experience his love and peace even when there is chaos around me. 

There’s always going to be a storm: financial, emotional, physical, spiritual. The devil will always be on attack at all our weakest points. We only need to be still and have faith. In the verse above, Jesus reminds me to have faith in the middle of the storm. He asked me why I was afraid. He was the calm in the middle of the storm. 

Here are some of the plans I’ve done in recent weeks. 

Have you experienced God’s presence in the middle of your mess? Have you felt Jesus calm the storm around you? Join the conversation. I’d love to hear from you. If you want to receive new posts to your inbox, type your email below. I won’t spam you or sell your information. See you there!


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